what the?

Heard on TV on DIY
'replace your kitchen cabinets with the best there is. CRAPMADE kitchens and baths' Hey I already have CRAPMADE cabinets... you can tell by the missing handles and the crooked drawers.

'the nut is stuck so grab a WENCH and give it a go'

"if you are taking nsaids or the elderly this medicine isn't for you." Yep them elderly always tend to get stuck in my throat

thought this meant something it didn't.

Seen on a local newspaper home page.
A small square on the right side with two young men with smouldering looks and a headline... free single of the week... and smaller at the bottom of the square ... Holy Ghost....

WOW the Holy Ghost is single AND is free for the week. Sometimes I make my
head hurt.

But this is the best and I swear this is absolutely true because it happened to the Husband and since he is not the imaginative type I KNOW he didn't make it up... though it does sound like something that would come from me.

His car wouldn't start so he called the tow guy who, when he arrived, asked if the husband had lights. The husband got into the car to see and the thing started. Then the tow guy says that sometimes the security system on the car does that and if it does you have to ...AND I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP... lock and unlock it three times and try to start the car five times. (hop on one foot, stand on your head and squirt nickles out of your nose... ok so I added this part) Apparently the security system of the Husband's car was installed by a wizard.