Death

Lately I've been thinking about death. Not any random death but my death. Not that I'm planning to do anything silly but I'm no longer young and, after all, none of us get out of this life alive.

So I'm wondering what I'd like my death to be. Slow and fading like sunset on a hot summer day when the light lingers and lingers or quick and sudden like a power failure during a thunderstorm.

If it was slow then I could cause people to marvel at my grace and bravery as I face each day. It would give my men a chance to tell me what they normally wouldn't. It would give us all a chance to get used to it and a chance to give away my stuff. I would also have a chance to be magnanomous and forgive my sister her cruelty, as she sobbs beside my bed.

Am I selfish if I choose quick and unexpected. Then I wouldn't have to be brave or give things away and my sister would forever be racked because she treated me so badly. I also wouldn't have people telling me things simply because I was dying and they wanted to be nice. I have a hard time accepting the compliments I get, always suspecting that people are just being nice and don't mean it at all. At least I know nasty people mean it.

I'm not afraid of death. It would just be another adventure and I'm curious to know what follows. I'd miss my men but eventually they would join me again and maybe the next life will be better for us all. OR maybe I'll just come back as a rock. Then I wouldn't care. I mean, how can you hurt a rock's feelings? You might stub your toe on one but then you'd be the one limping. ROck's don't limp. No feet. Of course they have no arms and hands either but maybe it would be mice just to be.