I don't want to do this again
I haven't had my muscle relaxers in nearly a week and, because of it, my sleep is not what it should be. I've had some of the strangest dreams. Last night involved martyns (the animal), caymen and a dead squirrel. The night before included a giant and my sister. It just gets weirder and weirder.
This morning however my misery was when I was awake. I woke too early but decided to lay in bed hoping to fall back asleep. It was still dark, my eyes were closed and then I started to spin. It was an unmistakable sensation as if I were on one of those play ground merry go rounds, stuck on the outer rim while some idiot just spun me and spun me. It was worse with my eyes open, because what I could see was actually spinning. I wanted to vomit. Instead I broke out in a clammy sweat. I could not get it to stop and have no idea why. If I can ignore pain why not this?
When it relented I staggered into the husband's room (long story- he snores, I can't sleep so we sleep apart). I crawled into bed with him but began to spin again. Afraid that I would vomit all ove rhim I made it into the bathroom where I huddled on the floor next to teh toilet. (have to clean it... it stinks down low) The husband got up and stood in the doorway staring at me. Made me feel even more self conscious. I sent him to bed and then the dog, Rocko showed up along with Little dog Ollie and I was licked dry.
I've been up since then. Spun only once, vomited, forced some eggs into me and am typing this mostly with my eyes closed.
This could be my fibro, or my gum abcess, or the fact that all I had to eat yesterday was a Mars bar and a burrito supreme (the Husband aka MIchael... yes he has a name) was taking care of dinner. I wouldn't have had the burrito if older son hadn't stopped at Taco Bell on his way home form a Ravens' (football) game.
I also spent a great deal of time yesterday handling a new polymer clay that has an entirely different smell from the Sculpey I'm familiar with.
I'm tired and cold and my eyes hurt but am afraid to go back to bed.
I hate vomiting and try to do it only once a decade. I hate not being in control and if I can't make the world stop spinning around me, how more out of control could I possibly get? WHTo Blog or Not to Blog
This morning however my misery was when I was awake. I woke too early but decided to lay in bed hoping to fall back asleep. It was still dark, my eyes were closed and then I started to spin. It was an unmistakable sensation as if I were on one of those play ground merry go rounds, stuck on the outer rim while some idiot just spun me and spun me. It was worse with my eyes open, because what I could see was actually spinning. I wanted to vomit. Instead I broke out in a clammy sweat. I could not get it to stop and have no idea why. If I can ignore pain why not this?
When it relented I staggered into the husband's room (long story- he snores, I can't sleep so we sleep apart). I crawled into bed with him but began to spin again. Afraid that I would vomit all ove rhim I made it into the bathroom where I huddled on the floor next to teh toilet. (have to clean it... it stinks down low) The husband got up and stood in the doorway staring at me. Made me feel even more self conscious. I sent him to bed and then the dog, Rocko showed up along with Little dog Ollie and I was licked dry.
I've been up since then. Spun only once, vomited, forced some eggs into me and am typing this mostly with my eyes closed.
This could be my fibro, or my gum abcess, or the fact that all I had to eat yesterday was a Mars bar and a burrito supreme (the Husband aka MIchael... yes he has a name) was taking care of dinner. I wouldn't have had the burrito if older son hadn't stopped at Taco Bell on his way home form a Ravens' (football) game.
I also spent a great deal of time yesterday handling a new polymer clay that has an entirely different smell from the Sculpey I'm familiar with.
I'm tired and cold and my eyes hurt but am afraid to go back to bed.
I hate vomiting and try to do it only once a decade. I hate not being in control and if I can't make the world stop spinning around me, how more out of control could I possibly get? WHTo Blog or Not to Blog
posted by ---me--- at Monday, December 05, 2005
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