stuff

Dear Peruser,
Today the husband and I went to bruch at Denny's. There we sit, struggling to find something to say to each other because after being married for forever we've just about said it all when the husband's jaw drops and he starts making these weird faces at me. It finally dawns on me that he wants me to look behind me and a glance over my shoulder shows me that the woman in the booth behind me is sitting there, arm straight up holding a bottle of ketchup. Just sitting there as if she had to raise her to to... well... what? Was she asking to be excused to go to the bathroom or perhaps, asking if she could USE the ketchup. It seems she was trying to get the waitress' attention because she didn't know HOW to use the ketchup. I kid you not. Her table mate who, while unfolding himself from his seat, looked eerily like a praying mantis finally relieved her of the ketchup bottle and took it to the counter where it took two people to show him how to use it. He brought it back to the woman behind me and all was well with the world.
So here I'm thinking, how can you NOT know how to use a ketchup bottle? Little kids know how to use a ketchup bottle. This was even one of those upsidedown squeezey bottles that you don't have to wait forever for the ketchup to appear. Flip open the top, squeeze the bottle and ketchup. And all along I thought the husband was the only one with the duh moments. Did I tell you about the pool last year.?

He was getting the pool ready for the season and comes in all muttery and red in the face. 'The pool isn't working", he splutters at me," we just bought the damn filter and pump last year and now it's not working. I'll have to take it to the pool place and they'll have to send it out to be fixed and it'll take weeks and I can't filter the pool......" Well you get the idea. On and on he mutters till we are now up to the point where we need to buy a new filter, a new pump, new hoses and Park Place (with a hotel). Mutter mutter mutter. I asked if I could help and get a grumbled reply. So I put on my shoes walk out to the pool, switch the pump switch to on and walk back in the house with the pool merrily filtering away behind me. Meanwhile he's standing there gaping as me as if I had just WALKED across the sruface of the pool. He manages to pull himself together enough to ask HOW i had done that. (Oh but it was so hard not to laugh in his face) I shrugged lightly and simply told him I switched it on. Somehow he had forgotten that part of it. Sheesh. Good thing he and the don't know how to use a ketchup bottle lady never got together. It might take them year to figure out how to turn the knob to get out of the house.
In case you think I'm being too hard on him, he's the one who told me to tell you about that. And in case you think I don't appreciate him or that I consider him worthless I must tell you this. During that same Denny's visit, our waitress was running around like crazy trying to handle her table as well as a party of 12. She handled it all beautifully, neglected nobody and the tightwads of 12 left her an entire $3 tip. They didn't put the tip on any of their credit cards either (the husband checked with the cashier whow as also astounded that they were so cheap). Well the husband, who is a big softie pulled a ten out of his wallet and told me to give it to the waitress to help make up for those cheapskates. We had her and the cashier and the manager beaming by the time we left. Definitely an Awwww moment. So the husband for all his bubbleheadedness is an old softie.
Been a long day and I'm in need of a bath. Take good care of yourself. Love ya. ---me---