Things are topsy turvy
Dear Peruser,
I'm back with the latest update on the men in my life. Human and Canine that is. Oddly the men and the dogs are all male and the cats and I, female. I am female despite the fact I haven't worn a dress since my mother's funeral, which means luckily for me no pantyhose that, no matter what size I buy I always end up with shop lifting panty hose. You know the kind. The patny hose whose crotch creeps ever southward until the panty part is someplace around your knees and you could carry two bowling balls, one bag of groceries and a small dog. But I digress.
The HUsband and I went out to lunch. Working and living together we sometimes run out of things to talk about. So there we sat at Friendly's while he read aloud the toppings for the ice cream sundaw he was getting. Crushed oreos, m&m's, peanuts, walnuts. almonds, Death Bar. Hold up there. Death Bar? We can have death bar on our sundae? We nearly peed ourselves laughing. It reminded me of when we used to deliver Kidstreet News while I was writing for it. One of our school was the COlumbia School of the Dead. I swear. The man actually thought it was called the School of the Dead. Can you imagine the student body? The rotting Student body. You wouldn't have behavior problems, no one would interrupt you, so a limb fell off now and again, and the smell.... Really now. School of the Dead. I suppose they serve ice cream with death bars on it. BTW it was Heath Bar.
Compared to the husband's recent antics, it's kina scary that Rocco the Wonder Dog is getting smarter. He has figured out how to open the front gate by lifiting the latch with his nose. We stuck a stick in the opening to jam it shut and then he pulled the stick out with his teeth. So now we have a stretchy thing AND a stick in the hole and I'm just waiting for Rocco to come up with something else. I suppose his next move will be cllimbing the fence to get out. Of course, Rocco can't read menus... no opposable thumbs to hold the thing.
I shouldn't be so mean about the husband but honestly, he is the one who tells me to share his faux pas with the world. Today he used the word eke which is pronounced EEK only when it comes out of his mouth it's ek. He tries and he does keep me laughing and now he is fighting the battle of the thermostat for me.
The office is on the thrid floor of a historic building whose last incarnation was as a funeral home. The bottom floor is rented out for conferences and wedding receptions. The second and third floor are offices but usually the second floor is enpty during the day as well. There are three rented office on the third floor but one guy I saw once a couple months ago and not since then. There is a guy in the office next to us, a bill collector who got into a screaming fight with voodoo woman when she still worked for the husband. Now he just cusses out people on the phone, so loudly I often have to stick a finger in my ear to hear the person on the phone. Well the screamer keeps turning down the thermostat to 68. FAR TOO COLD for me. So I get up and push it up to 70. Even that is cold but I can live with 70degrees. NOw the Screamer would go out and turn it back down, up down up down. So the Husband jumped in yesterday and had the Screamer come into the office where I sat in a long sleeve top, heavy sweater and fingertipless gloves with my teeht chattering. The husband asked the Screamer if we could compromise and keep the thrmostat on 70. Oh no. The Screamer couldn't. He has alergies and his office is stuffy. He can't open his window because a fly once flew in. He can't turn on his fan because it slows down the computer... 5 outlets in the office and everything is plugged into one. Now he stands there telling the husband this and the husband notices something. The guy is wearing a pair of heavyweight sweats bottoms and two shirts. Why the two shirts? the husband asked him. Because he sweats so much he has to wear two shirts never figuring out that the reason he's sweating is that he's wearing two shirts and the heavy pants. However, ths husband has vowed that he will be successful and I will no longer have to wear gloves in the office in May. And beg for another coal on the fire. How can he be so confident? The owner of the building had even come up and told the Screamer that he was freezing in his office and the thermostat had to be turned up. The best part of it all is that I had said nothing about freezing to death or that my hands were cramped with the cold. The husband actually noticed and did something about it all on his own. Wow. After 33 years he's finally starting to pay attention to me. Gotta run. Older son just came home and I need to toast his taco shells. Later gator. ---me---
I'm back with the latest update on the men in my life. Human and Canine that is. Oddly the men and the dogs are all male and the cats and I, female. I am female despite the fact I haven't worn a dress since my mother's funeral, which means luckily for me no pantyhose that, no matter what size I buy I always end up with shop lifting panty hose. You know the kind. The patny hose whose crotch creeps ever southward until the panty part is someplace around your knees and you could carry two bowling balls, one bag of groceries and a small dog. But I digress.
The HUsband and I went out to lunch. Working and living together we sometimes run out of things to talk about. So there we sat at Friendly's while he read aloud the toppings for the ice cream sundaw he was getting. Crushed oreos, m&m's, peanuts, walnuts. almonds, Death Bar. Hold up there. Death Bar? We can have death bar on our sundae? We nearly peed ourselves laughing. It reminded me of when we used to deliver Kidstreet News while I was writing for it. One of our school was the COlumbia School of the Dead. I swear. The man actually thought it was called the School of the Dead. Can you imagine the student body? The rotting Student body. You wouldn't have behavior problems, no one would interrupt you, so a limb fell off now and again, and the smell.... Really now. School of the Dead. I suppose they serve ice cream with death bars on it. BTW it was Heath Bar.
Compared to the husband's recent antics, it's kina scary that Rocco the Wonder Dog is getting smarter. He has figured out how to open the front gate by lifiting the latch with his nose. We stuck a stick in the opening to jam it shut and then he pulled the stick out with his teeth. So now we have a stretchy thing AND a stick in the hole and I'm just waiting for Rocco to come up with something else. I suppose his next move will be cllimbing the fence to get out. Of course, Rocco can't read menus... no opposable thumbs to hold the thing.
I shouldn't be so mean about the husband but honestly, he is the one who tells me to share his faux pas with the world. Today he used the word eke which is pronounced EEK only when it comes out of his mouth it's ek. He tries and he does keep me laughing and now he is fighting the battle of the thermostat for me.
The office is on the thrid floor of a historic building whose last incarnation was as a funeral home. The bottom floor is rented out for conferences and wedding receptions. The second and third floor are offices but usually the second floor is enpty during the day as well. There are three rented office on the third floor but one guy I saw once a couple months ago and not since then. There is a guy in the office next to us, a bill collector who got into a screaming fight with voodoo woman when she still worked for the husband. Now he just cusses out people on the phone, so loudly I often have to stick a finger in my ear to hear the person on the phone. Well the screamer keeps turning down the thermostat to 68. FAR TOO COLD for me. So I get up and push it up to 70. Even that is cold but I can live with 70degrees. NOw the Screamer would go out and turn it back down, up down up down. So the Husband jumped in yesterday and had the Screamer come into the office where I sat in a long sleeve top, heavy sweater and fingertipless gloves with my teeht chattering. The husband asked the Screamer if we could compromise and keep the thrmostat on 70. Oh no. The Screamer couldn't. He has alergies and his office is stuffy. He can't open his window because a fly once flew in. He can't turn on his fan because it slows down the computer... 5 outlets in the office and everything is plugged into one. Now he stands there telling the husband this and the husband notices something. The guy is wearing a pair of heavyweight sweats bottoms and two shirts. Why the two shirts? the husband asked him. Because he sweats so much he has to wear two shirts never figuring out that the reason he's sweating is that he's wearing two shirts and the heavy pants. However, ths husband has vowed that he will be successful and I will no longer have to wear gloves in the office in May. And beg for another coal on the fire. How can he be so confident? The owner of the building had even come up and told the Screamer that he was freezing in his office and the thermostat had to be turned up. The best part of it all is that I had said nothing about freezing to death or that my hands were cramped with the cold. The husband actually noticed and did something about it all on his own. Wow. After 33 years he's finally starting to pay attention to me. Gotta run. Older son just came home and I need to toast his taco shells. Later gator. ---me---
posted by ---me--- at Thursday, May 25, 2006
1 Comments:
You gotta go toast his taco shells?
Oh, I REALLY wanna hear more about THAT!
ROFLMAO
signed,
ThePeruser
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