I really did need to go to the store
It snowed Tuesday and Wednesday. No we didn't have the wind chills or the blizzard like conditions or the snow piled to the sky. We had the usual Maryland snow. The kind that the weather men go on and on and on about, making you feel that this just might be the end of life as you know it and sends everyone scurrying to the grocery store where they continue the white theme by buying milk, bread, toilet paper and eggs. And then we all sit around holding our breath and waiting for the inch that constitutes a Maryland snowfall.
UNFORTUNATELY, I had to go to the grocery store on Monday. It wasn't my fault, there was no helping it and yes I bought toilet paper but that was only because we prefer toilet paper to scooting across the back lawn on our bottoms like the dogs do. I also need dog and cat food (for some reason they demand to be fed every day). Luckily I didn't need anything more than that because the locusts had descended long before we arrived and shelves had been picked clean, unless you wanted soup bones and pig's feet or a bottle of no name soda in a color that is never sen in nature.
So we did our shopping and stood in the long long line with waiting people jiggling and dancing as they waited. Imagine a long line of elderly cart leaner folks in their perfectly coiffed hair all doing what looked to be a conga line of the pee pee dance. I wanted to put a sing on my back reading I HAVE to go to the store. The snow has nothing to do with it.
So we got an inch of snow and some ice though it was nothing like the newsmen made it sound. I suspect they all own stock in the local grocery stores and so a boost in sales would be a boost in dividends.
The husband let me have th snow days off, which was good because coming home Monday, Rocco the thickheaded dog ran, head first, into my right knee and dropped me like a sack of manure. As if that wasn';t bad enough he insisted on cleaning my ears face and up my nose as I struggled to gather my scattered belongings and haul myself to my feet. Meanwhile the husband sat in the car watching me. It sounds cold and callous but it's not. I've always been incredibly clumsy. When we were first married we'd be walking along and suddenly I'd disappear as I tripped over a shadow and he'd make such a fuss about hauling me up that I thought I'd die of embarrassment. So he watched to make sure I did get up and wouldn't have to spend the evening sitting in the middle of the front lawn. The knee still hurts and the snow is frozen fast and I've gotten really good at the old lady shuffle as I cross it. But I got my snow and now it can melt.
BTW. PLEASE STOP SENDING ME LINKS as part of your comments. The person or persons who do this never leave a name and I'm tired of thinking I have a comment when it's some doofus sending me links for things like I need.... meet cute chicks... unless they are if the chicken persuasion, I'm not interested.... enlarge my penis... I'd have to have one first... meet black/gay/white/latina/asian/martian singles in my neighborhood.... I've been married forever. And if I weren't I haven't the energy to date anyway. I also do not want to buy drugs from Canada, viagra, hair replacement drugs or breast enlarger (if the girls get any larger they'll have to start paying rent). Nor do I care to revamp my sex life, live forever, or increase my memory.
As for the porn sites....shame on you. Does your MOTHER know what you're doing?
As for true comments. Keep em coming. Oh and if you should need to mmet cute girls in your neighborhood, refinance your mortgage or learn the secrets of the universe, I probably have a web site for you.
UNFORTUNATELY, I had to go to the grocery store on Monday. It wasn't my fault, there was no helping it and yes I bought toilet paper but that was only because we prefer toilet paper to scooting across the back lawn on our bottoms like the dogs do. I also need dog and cat food (for some reason they demand to be fed every day). Luckily I didn't need anything more than that because the locusts had descended long before we arrived and shelves had been picked clean, unless you wanted soup bones and pig's feet or a bottle of no name soda in a color that is never sen in nature.
So we did our shopping and stood in the long long line with waiting people jiggling and dancing as they waited. Imagine a long line of elderly cart leaner folks in their perfectly coiffed hair all doing what looked to be a conga line of the pee pee dance. I wanted to put a sing on my back reading I HAVE to go to the store. The snow has nothing to do with it.
So we got an inch of snow and some ice though it was nothing like the newsmen made it sound. I suspect they all own stock in the local grocery stores and so a boost in sales would be a boost in dividends.
The husband let me have th snow days off, which was good because coming home Monday, Rocco the thickheaded dog ran, head first, into my right knee and dropped me like a sack of manure. As if that wasn';t bad enough he insisted on cleaning my ears face and up my nose as I struggled to gather my scattered belongings and haul myself to my feet. Meanwhile the husband sat in the car watching me. It sounds cold and callous but it's not. I've always been incredibly clumsy. When we were first married we'd be walking along and suddenly I'd disappear as I tripped over a shadow and he'd make such a fuss about hauling me up that I thought I'd die of embarrassment. So he watched to make sure I did get up and wouldn't have to spend the evening sitting in the middle of the front lawn. The knee still hurts and the snow is frozen fast and I've gotten really good at the old lady shuffle as I cross it. But I got my snow and now it can melt.
BTW. PLEASE STOP SENDING ME LINKS as part of your comments. The person or persons who do this never leave a name and I'm tired of thinking I have a comment when it's some doofus sending me links for things like I need.... meet cute chicks... unless they are if the chicken persuasion, I'm not interested.... enlarge my penis... I'd have to have one first... meet black/gay/white/latina/asian/martian singles in my neighborhood.... I've been married forever. And if I weren't I haven't the energy to date anyway. I also do not want to buy drugs from Canada, viagra, hair replacement drugs or breast enlarger (if the girls get any larger they'll have to start paying rent). Nor do I care to revamp my sex life, live forever, or increase my memory.
As for the porn sites....shame on you. Does your MOTHER know what you're doing?
As for true comments. Keep em coming. Oh and if you should need to mmet cute girls in your neighborhood, refinance your mortgage or learn the secrets of the universe, I probably have a web site for you.
posted by ---me--- at Thursday, February 15, 2007
2 Comments:
Hi there girlfriend! Happy B-day. Mine was the big 60. We got 6" snow and freezing temps. Still doing your art?
(((((hugs)))))) ^j^ Barb
I think I know who has been sending you those links....someone whose life needs a bit more excitement, and they have picked you to give it to them.
I hope the knee is better...we have to go roller skating soon.
Signed,
ThePeruser
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