Feeling sorry for myself
I feel the need to whine and play pity poor me. Since I have no friends I can turn to, or would turn to to unload my crap on them, I will unload my crap on the anonimity of blogger. So I would suggest that you stop reading this right now.
My world is falling apart and I don't know what to do. We owe money to everyone and our busniess has collapsed. I need someone to put their arms around me and stroke my hair and tell me everything will be alright, even if it isn't. I have no one I feel free to talk to. I talk to the husband but don't want to unload it all on him and I can't talk to the sons because, well I'm the mom and I'm supposed to be strong. It's not as if we had a splendid life style. We haven't. The house is a dump, the money is always scarce and I feel like nothing more than poor white trash. LIke I'm not allowed to be happy because we can't pay our bills. I try to be upbeat and think positive thoughts but I fail at it misearbly I want to scream and whine and rage.
Everything was fine until the beginning of the year when we were screwed out of a $30,000.00 commission and then 3 smaller ones. We were doing business with Korean business men and mistakingly thought that their word was worth something and so the husband didn't go that extra step to have everything spelled out in a contract. So since the husband was working on these deals the rest of the business dropped off though I handled my part. But we aren't getting the phone calls and the money isn't coming in and if we had gotten the monies due us we could skate till things picked up. It was stupid of us to assume someone has integrity because of their ethnic background. Apparently the Koreans don't want to save face the way the japanese do. It's not their fault, it's ours We trusted the wrong people.
Since this is the beginning of the month all the creditors are calling and I can't get away from it. I don't even know why I'm writing this. It isn't helping. So I'll stop and crawl back inot he bathroom where I've been spending a good deal of my time.
My world is falling apart and I don't know what to do. We owe money to everyone and our busniess has collapsed. I need someone to put their arms around me and stroke my hair and tell me everything will be alright, even if it isn't. I have no one I feel free to talk to. I talk to the husband but don't want to unload it all on him and I can't talk to the sons because, well I'm the mom and I'm supposed to be strong. It's not as if we had a splendid life style. We haven't. The house is a dump, the money is always scarce and I feel like nothing more than poor white trash. LIke I'm not allowed to be happy because we can't pay our bills. I try to be upbeat and think positive thoughts but I fail at it misearbly I want to scream and whine and rage.
Everything was fine until the beginning of the year when we were screwed out of a $30,000.00 commission and then 3 smaller ones. We were doing business with Korean business men and mistakingly thought that their word was worth something and so the husband didn't go that extra step to have everything spelled out in a contract. So since the husband was working on these deals the rest of the business dropped off though I handled my part. But we aren't getting the phone calls and the money isn't coming in and if we had gotten the monies due us we could skate till things picked up. It was stupid of us to assume someone has integrity because of their ethnic background. Apparently the Koreans don't want to save face the way the japanese do. It's not their fault, it's ours We trusted the wrong people.
Since this is the beginning of the month all the creditors are calling and I can't get away from it. I don't even know why I'm writing this. It isn't helping. So I'll stop and crawl back inot he bathroom where I've been spending a good deal of my time.
posted by ---me--- at Monday, March 03, 2008
1 Comments:
I found your blog listed on Judi's blog. Life can and does change. It's been a few weeks since you wrote that post. I do hope that you've seen some change :)
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