Christmas evening
Older son is at a Raven's (football) game. Younger son came and went while The Husband has already gone to bed for the night at 8pm. Here I sit, playing carols and remembering past Christmases when the boys were little. We used to have so much fun with the cheapest toys; silly string and tops and those plastic guns that shoot plastic discs, silly putty and what we called pirate gold coin candies but which turn out to be Haunukaah gelt. They had to wait until at least 6:30 am before they got us up. Even young, they could tell time and I have no doubt they sat up all Christmas eve night into the wee hours of Christmas day just waiting for it to be Christmas day. People said that we spoiled them on Christmas but that was really when they got their only new toys. Even before they were old enough for elementary school they got an allowance and had to save for whatever it was they wanted. They never seemed to mind. Or, if they did, they never said it to me.
Younger son told me today that we always give him one gift that baffles him. This year it was a rug. A middle sized scatter rug all nice and fluffy. Now older son installs carpet but this was different. I figured younger son could put it in his bathroom or beside his bed or beneath his feet as he spends endless hours at his computer. Besides it was better than the bottle of Beano I bought him a couple of years ago. I keep threatening to buy them the Mall MAdness game and Tropical Barbie for Christmas. I swear if I ever find either really cheap the sons will actually get them for Christmas.
As for the gifts they give us. People never seem to understand this. We rarely get a gift as a hold in your hand kind of gift. Two years ago I did get a new mattress for the big bed but that's an exception. I get gifts that I can never loose. OLder son trudging a mile to the store to buy me some little something with the remnants of his allowance. Younger son rushing home Christmas day from hanging out with friends and showing off Christmas gifts, to stand on the proch with me to listen to Christmas bells. The laughter of both boys as they tease me throughout the year. The hundred little kindnesses I get. It's just a feeling I get from them that keeps me warm through the year. I feeling I tend to forget when things get tough but then, wouldn;t you know it on eof them says something or does something and I fall in love with them all over again. Older son is now 25 and yet I swear I can still feel his newborn weight in my arms and that baby smell in my nose. I still wake at 3 am the time younger son woke each and every night until he was three. 20 years later I'm still awake and ready for that cry despite the meds I take to sleep.
Someone once was appalled that I was willing to give up 18 years of my life raising kids, putting them first. Give up? I've gained far more from them than I ever gave. They are the best things I've done in my life, even if one is sloppy and the other a smart ass. Hey wait. Suddenly I see too much of me in that last sentence. Maybe they do take after their mother, after all. Who woulda thought?
Younger son told me today that we always give him one gift that baffles him. This year it was a rug. A middle sized scatter rug all nice and fluffy. Now older son installs carpet but this was different. I figured younger son could put it in his bathroom or beside his bed or beneath his feet as he spends endless hours at his computer. Besides it was better than the bottle of Beano I bought him a couple of years ago. I keep threatening to buy them the Mall MAdness game and Tropical Barbie for Christmas. I swear if I ever find either really cheap the sons will actually get them for Christmas.
As for the gifts they give us. People never seem to understand this. We rarely get a gift as a hold in your hand kind of gift. Two years ago I did get a new mattress for the big bed but that's an exception. I get gifts that I can never loose. OLder son trudging a mile to the store to buy me some little something with the remnants of his allowance. Younger son rushing home Christmas day from hanging out with friends and showing off Christmas gifts, to stand on the proch with me to listen to Christmas bells. The laughter of both boys as they tease me throughout the year. The hundred little kindnesses I get. It's just a feeling I get from them that keeps me warm through the year. I feeling I tend to forget when things get tough but then, wouldn;t you know it on eof them says something or does something and I fall in love with them all over again. Older son is now 25 and yet I swear I can still feel his newborn weight in my arms and that baby smell in my nose. I still wake at 3 am the time younger son woke each and every night until he was three. 20 years later I'm still awake and ready for that cry despite the meds I take to sleep.
Someone once was appalled that I was willing to give up 18 years of my life raising kids, putting them first. Give up? I've gained far more from them than I ever gave. They are the best things I've done in my life, even if one is sloppy and the other a smart ass. Hey wait. Suddenly I see too much of me in that last sentence. Maybe they do take after their mother, after all. Who woulda thought?
posted by ---me--- at Sunday, December 25, 2005
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