It's like sloggin uphill through oatmeal

We got the money from the refi and we had a Christmas so shouldn't I tra la tra la all light and happy and not down and out and feelling so blah. It isn't even February when the blahs really hit but I have felt this way since before Christmas.
I've been diagnosed with depression and am on prozac but to tell the truth I am sick of it. Sick of always feeling... feeling what...hmmm. Feeling as if I do not deserve anything good that comes along Feeling as if I deserve all the bad crap. Feeling like a big old whining baby all the time and unable to lift myself out of it.
I'm even finding it hard to take pleasure out of the unconscious stupidity of others. For instance, a local plumber has a sign announcing that he makes house calls. As opposed to what? I can't see people shouldering their toilets and dragging their pipework along behind them as they went to the other plumbers, ones who don't advertise that they make house calls. I should be able to see that in my head but my head is blank.
I can't even craft. I sit there at my table surrounded by what seems to be every supply in the world and pull on my hair. Not writing, not crafting, not cutting, just pulling.
Now I can go on stronger meds but that means that I have to go off Prozac first and get it all out of my system and since me without Prozac is more dangerous than a truck full of terrorists I don't dare. So I mope and whine and belly ache and hope that, some day, I will feel better.