mannequin

I watch a lot of crime shows and invariably somewhere along the way someone stumbles across a body and claim that they thought it was a mannequin. Over and over and over again which makes me wonder....why WOULD they think it's a mannequin. I mean, how often do you come across a mannequin that's doing something other than well nothing. It's not as if they go on bus trips, or take walks or ever leave their pedestals under their own steam. Nor does it seem very likely that mannequins are being smuggled out of stores. How would you do that? They are too big to put in your pocket or under your coat, add hair, sunglasses and shoes and it looks as if you are lugging a dead body around. And do you ever hear of someone coming across and mannequin ans saying, I thought it wasn't anything important, at first I thought it was just a dead body but it turned out to be sob, gasp a mannequin. Oh the humanity.

Also on the latest geico insurance company commercials, the ones that are using old black and white commercials or tv shows and show Jed Clampet back in 1963 on his PERSONAL COMPUTER signing onto Geico. Poor mountaineer my ass.

So maybe I was wrong

We live in a neighborhood full of disreputables, at least that's what I thought. After all the family up the street has had all the males in jail at one time or the other and their cousins who used to live DOWN the street has a son in jail for life. Then there was the people up and down the street selling drugs and the guys that used to race up and down the street, the rocks through our picture window and last, but certainly not least, the serial killer who used to live around the corner.
And yet...
Today, after lunch, the husband brought me back to the house so I could grab my car in case I had to pick up younger son from work later. There were all kinds of cars up and down the street and one disreputable told me that an elderly man down the street had died and they were waiting for the man to have his last ride through Elkridge so they could join the line of cars heading toward the cemetery. We're not very close to our neighbors. The family (an extended family all crammed into one house) always wave and yell hello, so it was only right for me to join the procession. One of the disreputables kept me posted as to where the procession was and eventually we all joined up to head for the cemetery.
The family is black, which means nothing other than to prove a point about the rednecks of Elkridge (mainly anyone who lives in my neighborhood and isn't black ), the disreputables. They were all their, in their dress pants and pressed shirts and one, who couldn't get away from work stood in the middle of the route one intersection and stopped the traffic with upraised greasy hands (he's a mechanic) so that all of us in the line could get through without being sideswiped. That happened to me one time in a funeral procession so, that was definitely on my mind. The line stretched and stretched and stretched. After the graveside service I found one of the grown sons to express my condolences and he pulled me into his arms for a hug, the pushed me away slightly without leting go and stared down into my face. His face lit up in a grin and said"You're Mike's wife". On the way to the cars a neice grabed my hand asked if I was Josh's mother and thanked me for coming. I wish I had known earlier so I could have gone to the viewing but I'm grateful I at least got to go to the funeral. I did apologise for my lack of funeral appearance but no one cared.
I think it really is the thought that counts, so I'm thinking that I was wrong about the disreputables.

It could have been me

On line I stumbled across Britney Spears' performance on the MTV awards, not something I usually watch because I am more of the pound two rocks together generation.... at least the sons think so. So there I watch this amazing video. Amazing why you may ask. Well because Britney Spears dances EXACTLY like me. I mean come on. Have you seen her footwork? It's as if any moment she will topple from those spiky heeled boots into the lap of some unexpecting fool, not unlike me and gravity. And then there is that look of utter confusion. I patented that look, it's my tradmark look it... un...uh... where was I?
Oh yes.
And her costume! I have one exactly like that, only I call it underwear and wear it UNDER my clothes... hence the name UNDER wear.
To be honest she didn't get the flip your hair thing from me. My hair isn't long enough to get into my eyes. She kept fussing with hers making me want to shout that if you don't want your hair in your face try a barette for gods sake or stop twirling your head around so much. Really.. enough rotations and any head could screw right off and go bouncing across the stage right to that poor fool's lap. I tried that move once but it only made me dizy and then gravity kicked in and the poor fool in the front row ran for his life for fear that I would land on him and squash him.
Yet, with all the fun I'm poking at her, I actually felt myself pitying her, after all she had that, my boots are too tight deer in a headlight look. Maybe its because it was because it wasn't until she was out on stage that she realised she had forgotten to put her clothes on.

DUI son update

Not only was the son driving drunk but he plowed into a tree. We think he totaled the car, the insurance guys will take a look at it tomorrow. Somehow he got out of the car and found himself sitting on the grass with no idea of what had happened. He waited more than 30 minutes for the cops to arrive. He could have walked off and claimed someone stole his car but he didn't. So now is the calls to the lawyer and the treatment centers and all the rest.
He told his job what happened and they didn't fire him. In fact, they asked what they could do for him. He's feeling lousy (wiplash we suspect] and so he's going to the doctor tomorrow. The paramedics were called but he said he was fine and they didn't take him to the hospital. They should have. But they didn't.
I saw his new place today. He kept apologising for the clothes on the floor. I raised him and he lived at home till two years ago. he still comes back to visit and he should know that clothes on the floor don't bother me. I like his room in this new place. There a nook right by the window where he has his desk and he has a closet SOOOOO big he could actually put an air matress in there and sublet his room. He has a second closet with all kinds of cuning wire shelves that sets my organising heart a flutter.
I'm trying hard to hold onto my sanity with all of this and the failing business and being behind in ALL of our bills. I can't even get very creative and every task takes me far too long to complete. I'm still angry at younger son and it'll take a while to forgive him. But I will forgive him. I always do. sigh. I need some brightnes in my life right now.

I could kill him.

THis time last year we were taking younger son to visit his PAROLE officer and then also taking him to his mandatory addiction clases. It seems that wonder boy got his first DUI. He was gpoing to be off probation and it was all going to go away come December.
UNITL

he was arrested last night for a dui AND we have to go and bail him out. I have no knowledge of how any of that is done and I doubt that I can handle this what with our continuing business problems and life in general. I cannot believe that he was this stupid. How can he be stupid with the IQ he has? I just don't get it. Even worse, he was doing so well in his job which he will now probably lose because he's bonded. He just moved into a new place, was offered a position to supervise a Saturday shift at work and now it all comes raining down upon him.

I want to scream to rage, to cry and to throw up. THis'll probably be the place where I do all three. Bear with me. Please.

Even tho they grow up they are still your babies.

ANd then I looked on line and Casey can very likely get jail time for all of this. I don't know if I can survive it.

Germs

Sit and watch tv for an hour or pick up one of those useless lady's magazines and all you seem to se advertised is stuff to get rid of GERMS! Germs as if they are all going to gang up and attack. Ridiculous, they don't make uniforms small enough. Now they have bleach for your dishes.... BLEACH? Come on now, I leave my dishes in a sink full of water long enough for the dish to actually dissolve (it hasn't happened yet, but I can hope) . I have never wiped the rim of the trash can. Why my trash can should be cleaner than me I don't know. I don't scoop the cat liter as soon as the cats use it or hover with the scooper ready as one of the girls does her business catching the "ahem" deposit BEFORE it hits the litter.
Hand sanitizer companies must love petting farms. When I worked with the pigs I didn';t wash my hands till I got home and there was that one time when I was covered with piglet birthing goo or the time I ended up in the grocery store with a t-shirt full of pig blood AND I NEVER GOT SICK even though the bird flu was supposed to come to humans from the chicken to the pig to the human unless you ate sauerkraut... don't ask me, younger son claimed it was true. As for the poor kids dragged around the farm by their teachers, if they so much as looked as a pig the teacher/aid/parent/chaperone whipped out the hand sanitizer and coated the kid from hair to toes. It's a wonder the kids didn't OD on the stuff. Of course I suppose carrying a bottle of hand sanitizer was easier than luging around a five pound can of sauerkraut and forcing the little dears to eat it but, still, I think we are suddenly carrying this germ nonsense too far. Don't we all know that if food hits the floor and you pick it up in under five seconds it is perfectly safe to eat? Or that neatly arranging strips of toilet paper on a wet toilet seat will magically protect you from all stranger sprinkles even though the toilet paper shield you just designed is on a seat so wet that the tp actually starts to dissolve before you put your tushie on it and let us not forget that you CAN kiss your dog on the lips because dog mouths supposedly carry less germs than a humans... must be all that butt licking... who knew... of course it would be awfully hard to carry a dog's but around with you to keep the rug rats all sanitized.
So here's my point... yes I do have one... if the parent makes sure their house is germ fre and their kids are just as sanitized and stored away in plastic wrap, what happens when ...shudder.. the kid mets a real live germ. Holy crap, the kid'd have the snot knocked out of him. PUn intended. So save the germ I say, dump the sanitizer and the wipes and let the kid get dirty... after all there is always sauerkraut.