Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The chick is back in the nest.

YOungest son has moved back home. He says it sucks but he'll just put up with it. Sounds rude and terrible, doesn't it? Had I ever said anything like that as a kid my mother would have made my life a living hell. But for me, I have always urged my sons to tell me what they think and this is what he thinks. It does suck because he has been on his own for years and now he has to come back. He won't get his license back until March and couldn't fin d an affordable place near work and I invited him back. I am going to have to learn to not treat him as my son but as an adult sharing the house. I am sure it will beinteresting.

Monday, May 19, 2008

So over my pity party

I had a good cry and then wiped my eyes and had a plate of spaghetti. Then I baked some banana bnread and berated myself for being such a baby. So now I'm bad to my old self and actually found humor in something, I bought a cd on ebay and never noticed that it was coming from china. The sender's name is Ding Dong Feng. Poor guy. His name sounds like a rude joke. What are some parents thinking when they name their children. The husband was watching some political thing and the guy that was talking had his name beneath him and his name was Karl Marks. FOR GOD"S Sake!!! What idiot named their kid Karl Marks? When I worked in a bank we had a customer named Robin Hood and another time someone was depositing a check from the state of Arizopna and the state treausrer's name was Jesse James,Sheesh.

Trying so hard

I'm trying so hard to be positive, to be strong, to be accepting when all I am is a quivering mess who wants to be anyone but me. I feel so alone and so afraid and so damned useless. Not only can we not make our mortgage payments but now the house is up for a tax sale auction. I see no way out, I see no solution. I've tried. I really have tried. I tell myself if we lose the house then we can move and I won't ever have to catch up on my cleaning here. But who would rent to us. Can we take big dog Rocco or do we have to find a new family for him? MY HEART IS BREAKING AND i DON'T KNOW WHERE to turn what to do. My head hurts and there's a burning coal in the pit of my stomach. I could take losing the house and all if I just knew that it would all be ok. I wish I had friends who I could feel free with. Feel free enough for me to dump my crap on them with certainty that they wouldn't hate me forever. But how can I dump this garbage on anyone?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

International Market

In my search for turkish delight (I said it was addictive) I went into what was advertised as an international market but turned out only to be the type that carries asian and hispanic items. The minute I stepped through the door, I saw that they had a remarkable price on grapes and as I journeyed further through produce I spied the asian ugly fruit. I have no idea really whether it was fruit or some kind of veg but some of these lumopish things looked as if they could suddenly open their eyes and spring for your throat, or sprout wings and fly around splattering your head with fruit.
Ah. But I was not to be deterred and I searched out the candy aisle, which I admit would have been a awhole heck easier if I knew just WHAT the packages were advertising. Tgere was white ricish looking stuff and other stuff coated in sesame seeds and more stuff with those big eyed smiling creatures that the asian marketing people think are so endearing.. Frankly I was on cutsey wrapping overload so I escaped into the meat section which was unfortunately too close to the fresh fish section with its pong of things from the sea best left uneaten.
Compared to the many tenacled thing and the whatever that looked like nothing more than some prehistoric insect, the ugly fruit was rather pretty.
And then, settling my imagionary pith helmet firmly on my head and tightening my grip on my equally imaginary machete, I slashed and burned my way into ....THE MEAT SECTION!
Ok. Now I am a person who has to have sauerkraut with turkey and eats steamed crabs by forcing my way into the shells and so I know that ewveryone's tastes are not the same but I swear that some of these meats left me with two great questions. The first of them was how do you eat this and the second was why.
For instance, the Pig Heads. Yep just the head. I didn't look too closely at it for fear I might recfognise the pig but what in god's name would you do with just the head? Or the split cow hooves, the chicken legs... not drum sticks but the scaley leg part complete with the claw. Is there even any MEAT on that? Then I wandered past the duck. There I had a choice... with head or without. Personally i prefer my food to NOT be looking at me while I eat it but that's only me. There was goat...smoked and unsmoked, cow feet whole and split... I can see that. I'd prefer not having to split my feet. What do you do with a fresh pig's ear? I mean other than give it to your dogs as well as some creature's intestines, a black chicken... really the skin was black... pigs feet, that my father loved to eat..and pig's tails that help jazz up that sauerkraut I was talking about earlier. There was rabbit and unicorn...just checking to see if you were paying attenion and a steer tounge that looked to be the length of my arm.
HOWEVER.
I am leaving the best till last... I think the prize was the bull pizzle that, if it really is the uh ah bull's manly equiptment as someone once told me a pizzle was then been a manly man type a bull and whose uh um winkie must have started somewhere near his forehead. That big long steer tounge was a shrimp in length when compared to the uh um... pizzle.

the store left me with one lingering question....How hungry was the first guy that decided a pizzle was good to eat, or a foot or a claw or those gelatinous things in the fish bins that looked like something the pig head blew out of its nose. Or for that matter the crabs I am so fond of. Really, how many pigs ear would one have to eat to actually HAVE enough to feel full and pigs feet are mostly bone and why leave the head on anything you are going to eart?
But then once i stopped finding the weird meat I discovered that their normal meats were actually very inexpensive and as soon as I have the money, I'm going back for more of that thin sliced rib eye (enough to feed me and two men as steak subs and for under $3.00) and that eye round that is the size of a small child for under $15. Four meals out of that baby at the least.
BTW no turkish delight so I may just have to try the recipe I found online. I wonder if I can find a recipe for bull pizzle.Anyone wanna come to my house for dinner?

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Turkish Delight---was it?

I have achieved a life long desire... I had my first turkish delight candy. Edmund sells out his family for in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I bought a small package with the traditonal lemon, rose and mint. I loved the lemon and the mint... in fact it could become addictive... the rose however... sigh... picture cheap rose soap and now bite in to it. Yep. Rose flavored turkish delight. Shudder. It took most of the night to get the taste our of my mouth but now I have to find a local source for turkish delight, though I don't know where to begin. Is it really turkish and if it is why did I find a recipe for it in a grteek cookbook and then there was the book I was reading that mentioned turkish delight and the reason why it was made and what the sultan and his concubines used to use it for. Use your imagination remembering words like warm, delight, delicious. I really do hope it was all part of the fiction of the novel that I read and not that my new passion... bad choice of words.. really wasn't used for passion. I mean...it's sticky how would you ... never mind. I really do not want to think bout it. Turkish delight. yum.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Like a boomerang

Younger son may be moving back home for awhile. He wants to live on his own but rents are crazy and since he has to depend on us for transportation he has to be close by. So unless he finds someplace else he'll be moving back in here, at least for a while. How does older son with the whole basement of his own taking it? Very well. He's already planning how to divide the basement again AND he's given himself a project to get the laundry room in order so I can store there instead of in the cubby he made me. I hope moving back here doesn't break younger son's heart but I'll like having him back under our roof and I think he'll enjoy someone cooking for him again. Whatever happens, we will adapt.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Oh for goodness' sakes

As if life isn't stressful enough now younger son has to find a new place to live. He was sharing a house with a bunch of guys. One of the guys is the son of the owner, Friday the owner came over and told everyone that they have to be out by the first of June because they are a bad influence on his son. Younger son is the ONLY one who has a full time job, stays in his room, pays his bills and doesn't drink or do drugs. Now he has to find a place to live fairly close to us because we are his transport for another 10 months or so and he works in the area so he doesn't want to go too far. Of course I am fretting. I thought I had one son settled and it would only be the three of us, husband me and older son that would have to find a place when we lose this house.
I know they say that god gives youonly what you can handle. Does he have to keep using me as his guinea pig? Sigh. I'll survive this. NO MATTER WHAT!

If only I didn't feel so lonely.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

This one has to be the best one yert

Heard on the tv on one of those true crime shows that I can't seem to avoid. And this was said with a straight face. And I quote "It was no way for her to spend the rest of her life lying dead in a box for three weeks."

nuff said

Thursday, May 01, 2008

ow ow ow

I've been doing so much data entry work lately that my hands hace gone numb. Too bad my shoulder muscles haven't because they burn like the devil and my hand hurt too much for crafting...huh? wha? gulp! No crafting why whatever will I do with myself? I'm thinking about making some card on the weekend but am totally without inspiration at the moment. I'm always moaning about how forgotten I seem to be but DUH (mental slap upside my head) if I want mail I should SEND mail. AS I said DUH.
I also wonder when I will finally get the nerve to put stuff up for sale on Etsy. My problem isn't making the stuff or struggling through the awful photos I take, but coming up with a name for my etsy store. I think I've got one now only I have to see if that's already taken. I thought I'd call my store Fripperies. I like the sound of that AND I can even SPELL it. THat must mean something. WHo knows maybe I will be an instant success and we can live off the fruits of my talents or the docs will adjust my meds and I come back to the real world.

personALLY I prefer LalA land.

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