A big juicy kiss right on the lips.

I rarely go anywhere and when I do the Husband usually goes with me but today I had enough of living and working and riding together and set out on my own to a nearby dollar store. I did the dollar store thing and then went to one of those odd lot stores in a smallshopping center and as I got out of the car, I met a pair of big brown eyes and before I knew what was happening, Henry came running over to me and planted a big wet one right on the lips. And until that moment I didn't even know Henry but Henry's mother on the other end of the leash asked if I liked animals while I was being kissed good and proper. I told her I did and she said she figured so because Henry told her he needed to come over and see me. I have had that happen before people who claim that their dogs avoid strangers are telling me this while I'm being kissed within an inch of my life. Talk about someone having animals magnetisem!
Of course I always ask the pet parent first if I can touch and then I always get to the dog's levell with hand outstretched and wait for them to yea or nay me. Luckily I haven't been nayed yet. So the high light of my day was a big wet juicy kiss from Henry.... However.... I wish he hadn't just finished eating right before he kissed me.

One of those end of year letters I 'd love to see

I hate those holiday letters that some people include in their cards. I know those people must be proud of kis/hubby/self but they tend to scream at me that I'm a loser and my husband has not won the nobel prize or the sons have discovered the cure for the common cold and I am not starring in a Broadway play. I'd like to see a truthful letter something like.....

Well it's been another great year in the Numbnuts family home. Little Bubba managed to keep himself out of jail this year (as long as we ain't countin' the weekends) while Little Bigger Bubba has found himself a new career wrestling alligators. He likes the job well enough but its a horror on his costumes. Sis has a new boyfriend and she has moved with him and his grand and his great grand children in a lovely little commune in the hills of West Virginia. We think this is the big love of her life cause she really doesn't much mind the cow bell he wants her to wear.

Pa finally got himself unwedged from the booth at Denny's where he gt stuck sometime back in August when there was more Pa than space between booth back and table edge. He's enjoyed his Denny's vacation and was sorry to see it end when the denny's management ripped out the table and freed him. He could have stayed longer but the managment said he was starting to smell and was putting people off their food. Hell, you'd thing they never saw flies buzzing around someone's head before. As for me, I still have my two front teeth though five others have been lost this year alone. Makes it easier to brush and I always thought chewing was over rated.

Well that's it for us. We're wishing you a happy holidays and a good new year and if you should need a bail bonds man... I've got a couple of numbers I can give you.


Love to all

Maybeliine.





Of course this is all made up. I've lost only four teeth and I do like to chew.

Memories

When the sons were little bits of boys, we had a problem getting little boy hands into their mittens. Either the fingers would cram together and try to fit in the thumb spot with the thumb or the thumb would want to join the fingers and once I actually pulled a mitten over a pacifier because the kid wouldn't let go of it. And then I had a brain storm and made up a story about Mr Thumb and the Finger brothers and how Mr Thumb had his own place and the finger brothers all lived together. Somehow it made sense to the sons who in toddler speak called them Mifler Flum and the Finger Brolies

Older son little boy then was all eyes with a fragile air about him. Younger son was... well... cherubic. Rounded cheeks, blue eyes, blonde hair and an infectious giggle. And yet he was typically younger son, a smaller verison of the man he is today. You needed to know this to understand the sheer importance of what happened one cold day.

We were neatly sending Mifler Flum and the Finger Brolies to their respective residences and I casually wondered aloud why Mr Thumb lived alone. Younger son with an angelic innocence looked at me and said. "because he farts". Not one to laugh at something a child says simply because it would cause whatever that was to be repeated ad infinitum, I then mused that I didn't know thuimbs could fart. 'Sure they can.." darling blue eyed little boy said and then held up an unmittened hand to me "Wanna smell?"


Thumb farts..... who knew?

For the love of Gaud

I have always had an affinity for all things gaudy. I have no idea where it came from only if it shimmers and shines I love it. And the more it shines and shimmers and glitters the more I want it. Crystals, rhinestones, glitter I want it all.

So there I was in a dollar store and found what had to be the world's ugliest albeit shiniest garland. It was mostly silver but there were chunks of color in it as well. it was one of those garlands that went with nothing. HA. Or so I thought.

Then I was in the really junky thrift store and found these big plexi glass diamond shapes on a string (I think they were meant to hang in a doorway as a clattery curtain. Of course I bought them. They were shiny and the crow part of my personality could not resist.

Let's not forget the cloth bendable multi colored dolls I got on vacation one year for a remarkable 4 for $1.00 and since I love polymer clay so much and found glass balls cheap I covered the balls with clay making some of the most outrageous ornaments you have ever seen.

Today I put this all together on my tree. The ugly garland looped around. The diamond shams cascade from top to bottom, the dolls perch on limbs and since the tradition Santa on the top of the tree just didn't go, I made a tree topper out of glittery wire garland that I got at a dollar store. I turne don the lights and WOW!
despite all the ugly and the glitter and the weird, I managed to put together a great tree. Who knows what I'll do next? Maybe I'll even end up wearing socks that MATCH!

It all started when the guy across th street died

He had lung cancer which everyone kept saying was getting better and then he was dead. So the Husband decided it was time for him to upgrade his life insurance. (The guy across the street was younger than the Husband and I). And so, the Husband contacted a life insurance guy who sent out one of those pee and blood collector people and we waited only to discover that the pee and blood people said that not only did the Husband have high blood pressure BUT diabetes and that there was problems with his kidneys. Holy or maybe not so holey CRAP. The MIL died of diabetes while the FIL died of kidney failure. It was enough to make me run screaming into the night. To top it all off, the Husband's ex-employee known here as wicked voodoo everyone looks at me funny because I'm asian woman lost yet ANOTHER job and was to be out of her rented room by yesterday. I had a 10 minute taste of wicked voodoo everyone looks at me funny because I'm asian and what is with all the slamming doors woman, in the office one day when out paths crossed and I can only imagine what she was ranting to the Husband about. So not only did the Husband have his health to worry about and our business (which is doing better) but now there was the picture of wickied voodoo everyone looks at me funny because I'm asian and what is it with all the slamming doors and it's not my fault I was being harrassed woman living in her car, or under a bridge but I suspect if she was living under a bridge that, eventually, the trolls would kick her out. But I digress.
So there we were with sickly Husband and all the rest of the crap. So the Husband screwed up the courage, went to a real doctor where they took his blood pressure and did the whole blood and pee thing only to discover........


are you sitting down?


That other than high blood pressure and a bad choice of friends there was nothing else wrong with him!!! Woo hoo. We can't figure out why the life insurance blood and pee woman got it all wrong and I;m wondering whether she processed the fluids herself at her kitchen table using the chemistry set she got for Christmas when she was 12.

All I do know is that the Husband is fine and I was and am actually happy... an emotion I am not overly familar with. Who knows. Maybe it will be a good Christmas after all.


As for wicked voodoo....well you get the idea... she's not living under a bridge or in her car but in a cubby hole of a room next to a furnace in a friends house. Some friend. He's charging $200.00 a month to live in a cubby hole but I guess it beats living i n a box or under a bridge. What I do know is that the trolls are happy that the underbridge is still theirs and they can slam all the door they want.