Office Crisis

I was supposed to have Friday off and so I settled myself in for a long sleep only to have the husband burst into the room and tell me that he needed me at the office and that there was an emergency and then he was gone. So I dragged my wretched butt out of bed, threw on some clothes, tried to do something with a head of horrible hair and endured the two minute drive to the office. Out of the car, into the building up those step stairs and into the office, where they husband blurts that the cell phones work and the office phones work but the office phones aren't ringing.
So I put on my super suite with its gold lame cape and save the day
First, now this is important, you may need it in the future, I switched on the power strip by my desk. The power strip that my phone is plugged into. One of those multi function type of phones that need power to do it's functions like ring. And then I flew to the husband's desk, us super heros don't like to walk, eye ball his phone, pres the button that's lit and says DOD and then whoosh back to my desk where I drag out my trusty cell phone from my super bag of tricks and call the office and wouldn't you know it.. both phones ring. Husband whirls around to face me all agog tripping over his words but finally manages to ask how I did it.....
Yes, I let him in on the super hero secret....

i



turned




them




on!


Now if you pass this super hero secret on to others I will be forced to come to wherever youare and




unplug


your



phone.


And I can do it too!



I think.

Check your facts PLEASE

I was watching one of those autopsy shows on HBO last night. For anyone interested in that kind of stuff, they'd readily recognise the name of the medical examiner, Dr. Baden. He is supposedly an expert and one in the know. uh huh.
One part of the show was about the Romanovs, the royal family that had been killed by their own people. The Russians found bones in a grave and through DNA testing was able to say that they had found everyone, except for Alexi and Anastasia. So then that brought up the case of Anna Anderson who had claimed that SHE was Anastasia. Now they could know for sure if they tested her dna against the family's. Only Anna Anderson was dead however (and here it comes) they had some tissue of hers from when she had her appendix removed in Berlin. As in Germany. HUH? What? How?
Anna Anderson lived in the US for years, decades and the tissue they did have and tested was from an operation she had in Charlottesville Virginia... in the US! Not exactly in the neighborhood of Berlin. I checked my facts this morning and I was right. Dr Baden was wrong. You would think that someone along the way would have checked the facts or would have said "gee, Berlin, before the second world war? Hmmm. Didn't the Allies basically destroy Berlin? Wasn't it handy that that tissue was saved in a deep frezee someplace while the rest of the city was reduced to rubble?" Sigh.
Now it wouldn't be so bad if people tended to get their information from someplace other than TV but most don't. Tv and movies are taken as gospel. I remember when I was working in the library and suddenly the Romanovs were hot property because Disney was releasing their Anastasia cartoon. A Client was checking it out and asked if I had seen it. I told her I had but it only followed history slightly and was nothing like the real story. The Client blinked and said what. And then she asked me if Anastasia had been a real person. Apparently she hadn't read any of the million articles that had come out at that time riding on the Anastasia coat tails or the equal number of tv shows about it. Of course those shows were the discovery channels and A&E and the like. double sigh.

Frazzled

The husband and I went for brunch before work today. We went to IHOP on of the husband's favorite places to eat. So there we sat in our booth while a baby to the left of us cried and cried. And cried. And I can guess that you are certain where this is going. The husband and I do not like to hear a baby cry like that. Usually the parents are on the cell phone or chatting with friends or just staring blankly into space. Blankly into space was what this poor woman needed. I have never sen someone so woebegone. She rocked the baby and jigled the baby and sang to the baby and gave the baby a botle and then a piece of fruit. The other woman with her took the baby and jiggled her and rocked her and on the baby cried. The more baby cried the more mom seemed to curl into herself. She took the baby out to change her diaper, she gave the baby crackers, tried to give her another bottle and then the food arrived but mom was so concerned with the noise baby was making she probably couldn't have swallowed. And then she saw me looking at her and baby and she ducked her head and hunched her shoulders as if to disappear into herself. I know what she was thinking. That I thought babies shouldn't be allowed to cry allowed in an ihop nah nah nah. So I got up, went over, touched her on the shoulder and told her that it would get better and that they eventually grow up. She didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. I told her I had to speak to her because she had sen me looking and I didn't want her to think I disapproved. I told her that I just felt so sorry for her that I wished I could help. Then she laughed and her load lightened and the baby stopped crying. I remember those days so well. And I am glad that my sons are grown.

Obvious

While watching the Weather a little while ago, I realized that being a weather guy on TV has to be the most boring job. I actually pity the people who are forced to talk about the weather and act all excited as if, gasp, we've never seen anything like rain before, or it's cold up north (in January, what's the chances of that?}. I mean these guys ned to keep you interested but how interested can you be. Hot, cold, wet, dry, moderate, temperate. Just how much is there you can say?
Well, I've heard a new one tonight. Weather guy was talking about some football game that was going to be held indoors so that you know the weather was going to be nice. Huh? Wha? I dug the wax out of my ears and chalked it up to one of my notorious misheards when, doggone it, he said it again and this time the husband heard it as well. Weather guy meanwhile was grinning and motioning as if he had just discovered something never before witnessed. Nice weather INSIDE!! What's the chance of that.
It all reminds me of a visit to Columbus Ohio a number of years ago, where the weatherman there, some guy named Jim (with a Y) bemoaned the fact, nightly on TV that Columbus was losing more and more day light. This was in October and as far as I know the days always get shorter right after the summer solstice so this shouldn't have come as a surprise and yet, each night there was Jym, hangdog expression and all, saying the simple words but you just knew that he was convinced that sooner or later Columbus would run out of daylight altogether. What would they do then? Borrow some from some neighboring city? Import it from China? Smuggle some in over the Canadian border. Unfortunately the last was impossible because, as Jym told us all, Canada was losing more daylight each and every day.
I swear I wanted to send him a lightbulb or if that didn't work, a little dutch boy to stick his finger in the daylight dike, in hopes of stoppering the daylight leak.
As for me, weatherman Jym was the highlight of that trip. No, I lie. The highlight of the trip was when the friend I was visiting and who had just had a hysterectomy wanted me to go to the hospital and collect her uterus. When that wasn't possible she then tried to convince me to call a local funeral home to pick up the body part. There was a 30 day waiting period (why? Did they think she might want them to put it back in?) and so, we then had to discuss what she was going to name it. Sadly I was out of uterus names. I never did find out what she called it and as far as I know it is still in a jar on her mantle, nameless in the daylight leaking city of Columbus Ohio.

Green pigs and spectral port holes

I read an article today about how the chinese cloned a pig to glow f\green (only her snout troters and tounge but hey? Can you glow?) Even better Lima bean pig gave birth to a litter and her piglets glow as well. The scientists are excited about it because, hey wouldn't you be if you had a glow in the dark snout? Because mom is green and now the babies are green it mean something... I disremember because it was rather complicated about genes and transplants and the like. Yes, we do use pigs in some organ transplants and in the production of insulin.
The article did go on to say that the Koreans have cloned a flourescent red cat. Why? I have no idea. I suppose they were all sitting around one day bored with trying to cure cancer and other awful diseases and thout "Hey, lets clone us a cat and make it GLOW red!" Woo hoo.

On another note, I was watching some tv show about ghosts and haunting and there stood this woman all intense and serious telling us that her house was a porthole to the super natural. I thought I misheard her and listened hard and again. porthole to the supernatural. So now I have a picture in my head of the big bottomed ghost in Casper trying to get through that porthole but getting stuck al la Pooh and the Honey Tree. I wanted to shout at the tv "It's portal' but unlike my husband who thinks the tv can hear him, I know better.

Oh and if anyone watched haunted baltimore on the discovery channel... first of all the Poe House is not haunted. It is posesed. (I got that right from the curator) and the Westminster Cemetary is creepy and haunted even during a bright suny day. (first hand expeience)

I wonder how much a green pig would cost.

Misery

I feel as if I have a burning lump of coal square in the middle of my chest and I can't shake it. I've asked my guardian angels to help and I know they will in their own time but I want it gone now. There is too much going on in my life for me to be at ease and I wish I had a crystal ball that would tell me how everything is going to come out even if the news is bad. I hate not knowing and I hate having to wait for anything. Sigh. The husband keeps saying everything will be alright because it usually is but it's as if I have a nasty person in my head whispering dire things in my ear. (no I don't hear voices I'm just trying to describe what my mind is like). I'll go skipping along feeling all well and content and then WHAM!!! something surfaces in my brain and throws me for a loop.
My deceased mother always said that my father's side of the family was 'nervy' that everyone is on something and that they can't handle emergencies. I must have gotten it from that side of the family but at least we nervy people know we are nervy and take something for it. For me my prozac isn't enough but I have a physical in a couple of weeks and will discuss upping the dose AGAIN or trying something new.
I'm not suicidal though I can understand those who do take their lives. Sometimes death looks welcoming but with the way I am I can see me in heaven fretting about what is going on on earth. Yes, I am egotistical enough to count on going to heaven, even though my brain magnifies my wrong doings. Not too long ago something I did as a kid came back to me, something very non threatening to anyone, and I was awash with guilt. I'll be 56 this February and something almost 50 years in the past comes along and torments me. I can't change the past so I try to make up for it now, though some people wouldn't believe it. I'm not perfect but I am trying to be a little less imperfect. I hope I'm winning.

If you didn't want it read why put it on the internet?

OK. I'll admit that I was peeking at an ex friend's blog. I mean, if she didn't want it read, why post it on the web in the first place. Silly me didn't realize that reading a blog can be considered stalking. I was even being good when I read the blog and didn't post the comments that I wanted to so badly, simply because I know she's a squirrel and didn't want to start anything. And guess what.... she started it, copying an ancient post and then embellishing it with her idea of the truth.
She's probably respond to this one just like she did earlier today. Hmmm..... me reading her blog is stalking but her reading mine is........ what? Surely not stalking. And while she claims my post is libelous I use no names while she does. Shoo shoo shame on her.
So madam, knowing you will read this I must now say what has been on my mind reading your blog.
No one care to know 10 things about you. No one cares about whoever that taylor guy is or to look at old photos or even new photos of you. No one even bothers to comment on your blogs. You whine that you hate your job, whine that you have no friends, whine about this and that... poor you. But dear you reap what you sow even if it is weeds.
And here I must apologise to my adult friends for this post but I must say I feel a whole lot better.

Oh and ex friend....have you ever told your husband how you lied to him during our visit how you 'borrowed' money from me or how we passed you money when your husband thought he was paying for a meal. tsk tsk